Obedience

Last week I taught a Relief Society lesson about obedience. Later that evening we were visiting with my parents (it was Father's Day) and as we discussed how my lesson went I realized that even they weren't familiar with an experience I had that I shared during the lesson. Since then I have felt the need to write and record what I went through and what I learned.

When I was twelve years old, we received word that my seven year old cousin Buddy had been in a bad accident. He had been riding his bike and was hit by a car. His situation was dire.

My immediate family gathered together and we decided, as a group, to participate in an extended family fast being held specifically for Buddy. It was not the first time I had ever fasted, but was the first occasion I can recall involving myself in for such a desperate purpose and on a non-fast Sunday (although the day we fasted was a Sunday).

I went to church that day with an extra prayer in my heart as our souls were weighed down with concern. As I arrived to my final meeting of the three hour block - young women's - I discovered that our leaders had a surprise for us. They had arranged for us to leave the church building and go to one of the leaders homes. At that home they had the most magnificent brunch prepared for us!

If you have ever read the description of the feast in the Little Princess, then you have read the way I would describe this brunch! I remember being overwhelmed at the amazing foods that were abundantly spread over a large table and onto the counter. It seemed that there were fruits of all varieties and they just looked inviting and delicious. There were waffles and muffins and whipped cream and syrup and just everything you could ask for in a brunch.

And I was fasting.

I remember thinking, "But when I decided to fast, I didn't know that THIS is what I would be giving up." I debated whether or not to continue in my planned course of action, justifying that Heavenly Father would understand that forgoing this amazing and unique brunch opportunity was beyond the scope of expectations for the day.

And yet somehow, in the midst of this internal debate, my twelve year old heart became resolute and determined to step up, with a stronger conviction, to the sacrificial fast that we were offering in behalf of my cousin. My stomach growled as I looked longingly on the grapes and strawberries and waffles and whipped cream. But I knew it was the right thing to do.

Sadly, despite our fasting and prayers, my cousin never recovered from his accident and passed away shortly after. I remember feeling a strong sense of calm when he died - as if Heavenly Father was blessing me with a knowledge that he had heard our prayers and that they were being answered in the way that had Buddy's eternal best interests in mind. I felt peace despite his death and confidence that a loving Heavenly Father was over all.

As the years moved forward, I have often thought back to that seemingly insignificant choice I made. I wonder what my experience would have been if I had broken my commitment to the fast and Buddy had died. I think I would have had to wonder if his death was somehow my fault. I would have found myself dealing with concerns and spiritual and emotional questions that would have drowned me. But because I did my part, I could stand in confidence that the blessings of God were unimpeded and his love was available to us to receive.

I learned, with absolute certainty, that obedience brings peace to my soul and confidence in my Heavenly Father. I learned that those are the things of eternity and matter more than any outcome in this life.

January 2016

I was trying to figure out how to load my pictures off of my phone and onto the computer. Different operating systems and programs have changed the process. While I was working on it, I came across all my old pictures and decided to go back and make some collages. Here are the ones I have done so far. They are from a year ago. It's amazing to see how different life was. We are happy where we are but we miss our life in Alaska every day.

This first picture is actually from our visit to Utah We started 2016 visiting family. We had come for Ammon's ordination which also happened to fall over Christmas break. We went to Leatherby's for our final family activity of our vacation. A new Draper location had opened while we lived in Alaska so we decided to try it out. We felt like the line moved way slower and we regretted not sticking with the tried and true Taylorsville location. Now that we live in Taylorsville, we'll stick with our classic Leatherby's experience.

Traveling in and out of Craig could be a beast. Andrew and Ammon had to get back sooner for school and work obligations, but Peter, Laurie and I waited in Utah a bit longer for the cheaper tickets. We flew from Salt Lake to Seattle where we got on a connecting flight to Ketchikan. Then we had to spend the night in Ketchikan. We stayed at the Landing.

On our way home from Utah we stayed the night in Ketchikan and had the majority of they day to hang out - the ferry didn't leave until 3:30. Unfortunately our hotel room was only until 10 or 11. We took all of our luggage, my barely two year old and my eight year old and walked from the Landing to the Plaza. I went and said hello to all our Wells Fargo buddies and they let us ditch our suitcases there. A wonderful friend (Inger Anderson) picked us up from the plaza and drove us to the ferry. (Her husband had delivered us from the ferry to the hotel the night before.) I was so excited to be back home with my husband once we finally arrived.

Peter spent a lot of time at the Library when we lived in Craig. He liked to play video games with his friends. Laurie liked the library too. But not as much as she liked visiting Daddy at Wells Fargo and taking over his desk.

The beautiful island always brought such an underlying peace and serenity to my heart. It was such a soothing place to live.

We had a nice home in Craig that was always filled with family and friends. We loved to spend time with each other. On this particular day, Laurie received some late birthday presents - shoes! She loved them and the boys were eager to help here try them on.

I always love seeing my three children playing together.

For Ammon's first even mutual activity we had a combined YM/YW meeting on a float house in Thorn Bay! It was awesome. We made homemade pizza's and had a great fireside about the theme for the year.

Another beautiful day in Craig.

The power went out so Andrew and I played backgammon in the dark as our own little date night after the kids went to bed. Other then that, these pictures all seem to be just normal parts of the day.

Prior to January, I babysit Raeann twice a week in exchange for the three days Marci babysat Laurie. After I returned from my trip, our schedules changed and we each arranged different babysitting. But we continued to look forward to times when we would have Marci, Raeanne and/or Maelynn in our home.

Peter was very proud of getting perfect grades the entire time we lived in Craig. He got certificates and awards every semester.

Papa's Pizza was a fun little hang out. We went there on occasion but bought their pizza every Friday night. Our family has missed their huge pizza that had it's own unique taste.

Andrew decided to do his own Sprint Triathlon. He thought that he might work up to swimming in the ocean in the summer time but we never got that far. For this January tri he just swam in the local pool. He rode his bike out to Klawock and back, then ran Hamilton Loop and Cemetery trail. It was impressive!

We loved having friends over. Daniel Ericksen came over once or twice to play games with Ammon. Peter loved helping take care of Maelynn when she was visiting.

Here is anther ordinary day with us being in a variety of places including the city gym, the library and our house.

First Day

Today is the first day since moving in that Andrew has gone to work and the boys have gone to school. It's been a fun day of hanging out with Laurie and cleaning. I love our new house!

Yesterday we had several neighbors come by to welcome us. It was nice! Andrew went to play basketball at the church. Ammon and Peter were able to go to their scout activities. We just need to get Laurie to acclimate to her primary class and we'll be set. I think this is going to be a good home for us - both the house itself, and the neighborhood.

All New

We've lived in our new house (Taylorsville, UT) for one week now. We love it more and more every day.

Today was our first day in our new ward. We loved it. After Sacrament Meeting Andrew helped Laurie and Peter find primary. Ammon and I went out to the foyer to figure out where his Sunday School class might be. We were approached by the Young Men's President, the Deacon's Quorum President, and one other boy in the ward who gave Ammon a warm welcome and went to class with him. Andrew said that when he went to the opening exercises for priesthood he found Andrew sitting with a group of boys. I asked Ammon if he made any friends today. He doesn't usually pick up on people's names but he at least new that one of the boys had a name that started with the letter B. That may sound funny, but it actually seemed like a huge step for Ammon and as a mom I feel really excited that he was given such a warm welcome at church.

Peter also seemed to enjoy his first day in primary. He knew that we were going to Michael and Sophia's Aunt's ward, but I guess he didn't realize that he would also get to meet some of their other cousins. He was pretty excited about that!

Laurie did not have such a good transition. Doubling up on a switch both in a new ward AND into primary instead of nursery was overwhelming for the poor girl. Especially because primary was from 12:15-2:00 so we were in prime time napping hours the day after New Years Eve! I peeked into the primary room after getting Ammon settled and found that Laurie had latched herself onto Andrew and wouldn't let him leave. I went in and switched him places so he could go to Sunday School. I don't know if she has ever been as clingy as she was today. The primary did a great job and were absolutely phenomenal in doing the right sorts of things to help her relax. But she didn't. I really think she was just too tired. After sharing time, I just went ahead and took her to Relief Society with me. Her teacher gave her all the handouts and treats she would have gotten in class, and today at home she has already been talking more positively about primary. Hopefully next week will go better. She did fall asleep in RS.

After church we had family scripture study. Somehow it turned into a discussion about the spirit of Elijah and before I knew it Andrew was in tears sharing his testimony to our family about the nature and importance of eternal families. It was so unexpected and extremely moving. What a great way to start the year!

Tomorrow is the last day of our Christmas break. It's been good, although hectic with moving, Christmas, two birthdays, Andrew wrapping up his semester, and New Year festivities. There is a part of me that is looking forward to getting back to the routine. Actually, we'll be starting a new routine with a longer commute to school. Hopefully the drive won't be too much for me. I'll get to ease into the new schedule because Andrew has a few days off work this week. I'm looking forward to having some bonus time with him.

2016 was a great year for our family. Not easy, but great. We miss Alaska, but I really do think it was the best move for us to come back to Utah. We're looking forward to putting the transition behind us and jumping into our new life with both feet.

January 2016

We began this year visiting family in Utah. Andrew and Ammon headed home on January 3 to get back for work and school commitments while Laurie, Peter and I spent a few more days in Utah waiting for tickets prices to drop.

Once we were all back home life was in full swing!

Andrew began his MBA program. He has planned to get an MBA since before he finished his BS degree, but the timing was never quite right. “Someday” has finally arrived, though, and we decided our family was ready for the commitment and sacrifices this goal will require. He is enrolled with Western Governor’s University. Andrew is continuing to find success with his work at Well’s Fargo. He enjoys the interaction with the community as well as the friendships he’s established with his co-workers. His boss came for a visit earlier this month and mentioned his surprise that Andrew didn’t apply for a recent promotion opportunity. While he had considered it, our family is happy with where we are and wanted to take a pause in career movement while he progresses his education. Andrew has also been heavily involved with the full-time missionaries on the rare occasion that they make it over to our island, and often times even between visits. He enjoys sharing his knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We thought this month had been pretty full and busy for this husband/daddy/manager/church clerk/member missionary but yesterday he added one more adventure to his busy schedule and participated in a triathlon of his own making. It was the first race he did in Laurie’s lifetime. She was a cute little cheerleader for him and even today keeps telling him, “Good job Daddy!”

I arrived home on a Saturday night and was immediately back to meetings, lessons and activities for the young women’s program at church. This month marks a year since I received this calling and I confess that I still feel a bit like a fish out of water with it. I do love the girls that I get to interact with, though. I also jumped right back into work on Monday morning with a new schedule. Before I left for Christmas, the temporary job I had worked had expired but my boss had invited me to return to a different position with the city. She offered it as a permanent position. I accepted it as a temporary job. While I was gone, the circumstances changed so she asked me to come back to fill my original job. Upon my return, she had me sign the paperwork to confirm the raise she and I had discussed and she “snuck” in the change of status from temporary to permanent. I hesitated for a moment, but ultimately decided to go ahead and take the plunge. One of the things I love about our small town is that even with both parents working, my children have complete and total access to Mom AND Dad at any time during any day. Andrew’s work is across the street from the school (the middle school and elementary school share a campus) and my work is connected to the public library - a place that is easily within walking distance from the school and/or our home and a place where Ammon and Peter love to spend their time. We found a FABULOUS new babysitter for Laurie, who I couldn’t be happier with and we are all adjusting to the slightly new schedule. Although my job description stayed the same, I changed desks/locations within the office so I am getting things re-situated and am also having the opportunity to learn some additional responsibilities. While I enjoyed being in my own office the past several months, I am having now having a blast being down in the main reception area of the city office and getting to see so many friendly faces throughout the day.

Ammon, having turned 12 and being ordained a deacon, passed the Sacrament in church for the first time this month. I see him already growing into that responsibility, doing it with greater confidence each week. I am amazed at what a wonderful young man he is becoming. He and I also attended his first mutual activity together. (That is one of the perks of me being the Young Women’s President!) We had a great time learning together about “pressing forward with steadfastness and Christ” and eating amazing homemade pizzas on a float house school that has been converted into a home. I enjoy the unique experiences we get to have as part of life in Alaska. Ammon has spent a good portion of the month reading – to the point that he actually got written up at school for reading TOO much. Yup… that’s Ammon for you. He has a really hard time putting down a good book – especially if it’s in the middle of the climactic moment. We also hadn’t realized just how many books he’d collected until his teacher came into the bank and mentioned that a big portion of his books were missing. We found more than 30 books that Ammon had read and then forgot to return. Oops. We’re working to keep better tabs on that now. This month we also had a fun gaming afternoon with a friend. I’m hoping that we get to do many more of those as the year progresses. The two favorite games of the afternoon were King of Toyko and Sushi Go.

Peter, my ever social 8-year-old was very much missed by the time we got back to Craig. We had been gone for four weeks and heard from some friends that people had been asking about him often, anxiously awaiting his return. Peter was delighted to be back in school for both academic and social reasons. He has mastered his division – a subject that had him feeling quite flummoxed just a month ago. He was complaining about recess not being fun enough lately, but spends most of his time playing on the merry go round and the zip line and has determined that it’s pretty fun after all. He spends his afternoons at the library where a whole team of his peers gather together for online gaming. They play a game called Tanki and have fun collaborating on strategies, having battles against each other, and cheering each other on as they earn advancements. Peter has also participated in wrestling and scouts this month but his crowning achievement was staying on the Principal's list for the second quarter in a row. That means he has maintained his 4.0 GPA all year. Our trip interfered with his perfect attendance but he's quite proud of having kept his grades up despite missing ten school days.

Laurie has been adjusting to a new babysitter. Tylene has two boys – one Peter’s age and one Laurie’s age. She has been a perfect daycare provider for Laurie and Andrew and I couldn’t be happier with the environment Laurie is in or the quality of care she is receiving. Laurie is becoming more and more of chatter box and just delights us with her conversation. She received several new pairs of shoes for her birthday and wears them ALL. She is also getting more and more picky about what she is willing to wear each day. Laurie definitely has opinions about her fashion. Laurie used her potty correctly this month, but that is really more of a fluke than anything and we aren’t in full-fledged potty training by any stretch of the imagination. We did, however, graduate her into a toddler bed from her crib.

There have been a lot of big changes in our family this month. I  expect the next few months will be more of us settling into our new routines and less of the major new adventures that we embarked in this year We definitely started 2016 with a bang!

Sunday

One of my resolutions for the year was to be a better journal keeper. I've gone back and forth on whether that meant I want to be more committed to blogging or journal writing. Probably the real answer is both which is somewhat overwhelming and probably explains why neither is happening. But I have a moment while the boys are upstairs pretending (all too loudly) to sleep, Laurie is crying in her crib very obviously NOT sleeping, and Andrew is out with the missionaries for a discussion with Roxanne.

Today is Sunday so we went to church. I actually spoke in Sacrament Meeting and I think it went well overall. The topic was Visiting Teaching which I love to speak on. Sadly, I was up until nearly 2:00 in the morning getting the talk prepared. I was asked to speak as a substitute and didn't receive the assignment until Thursday. On Thursday the missionaries arrived on the island and Andrew had invited them to our house for dinner. Following dinner we hosted a missionary discussion with Roxanne. Then on Friday, I had work. After work we had the Page family come over to visit with the missionaries and then we invited them to stay for dinner. Roxanne was supposed to come over after that but it turned out not to work. However, on Saturday Andrew ended up leaving at 1:00 to go work with the missionaries. He didn't get back until 5:00 at which point he returned with the Elders and Cayden Bird because they were meeting Marci here to chat with her. We ended up having Marci stay for dinner and hung out here until we realized we were missing Brinleigh's birthday party. The three kids and I all rushed over to the party and Andrew stayed home because after their dinner appointment, the missionaries were coming back to our house to meet with Roxanne again. It has been missionary interactions and constant company pretty much since I was asked to speak. Anyway - that's my "excuse" for "procrastinating" until late Saturday night to get it all pulled together. And why the rest of my church experience today was mostly just fighting to stay awake. Andrew and I did come home and take naps while Laurie took hers. But now it's 9:30, the three kids are all still awake, Andrew isn't home and I have lost my patience. So I'm sitting silently on the couch hoping it all resolves itself while I ignore it and blog.

Life Is Good

In my childhood (teenaged years) I was an avid journal writer. For various reasons in my young adulthood, it was a habit I struggled to maintain. As a missionary I just got tired of writing and rewriting my life. I felt that it was adequately documented in letters. My journal felt redundant. I see the fallacies of that thinking now. As a newlywed I found myself unwilling to write about the imperfections in my life. I only wanted to write about things if they were perfect.

Throughout the years I have written entries here and there. Most of all it comes in the form of blogging about my children or writing a status on Facebook.

Lately, I have been wanting to document the fact that life is good. It isn't perfect. But it is good. I am happy. My marriage is good and that brings so much joy to me. My children are wonderful people and that is such a blessing. I love the gospel. I am surrounded by great friends. Life feels like a gift and even though some days are hard as I am still in the trenches of motherhood, overall, it's a beautiful world for me.

Juneau Stake Youth Conference 2015

I had the opportunity to attend Youth Conference with eight of the youth from our branch. President Ericksen was the other leader who went.

The travel to the conference was extensive. The event we were attending was scheduled for two and a half days. The boys going will have been gone for eight days when all is said and done. The girls stayed even longer to attend girls camp the following week.

The travel:

Tuesday morning get up in time to be at the Hollis ferry terminal by 7:30 AM. For most of us that meant leaving our house before 6:30 in the morning.

Arrive in Ketchikan at 11:00. 

WAIT until around 9:00 PM when the Alaska Marine Highway Ferry docks. Load for departure scheduled at 10:45 PM.

Arrive in Juneau around 5:00 PM the next day. (Wednesday)

Conference begins at 4:00 Thursday afternoon.

In Ketchikan we were able to spend some of our extra time taking the kids to see the Lumberjack show and shopping. We spent lots of time at both Wal-Mart and the Plaza. President Ericksen brought his truck over from Prince of Wales. I called Sister Susan Merrill who was willing to lend me her car. Each vehicle held five passengers so it worked out perfectly for our group of ten. The youth who attended from our branch were: Tyson Scamahorn, Owen Chadwick, Dominic Stephens, Lewis House, and Cayden Bird with the Young Men and Cailin Bailey, Aubrilyn King and Courtney King with the Young Women. Morgan Bird opted to fly up on Thursday (on his own dime) to join us. Aubri and Courtney joined us in Ketchikan coming home from their summer in Utah/Colorado.

The sleeping arrangements on the ferry were less than ideal - we were all but in the closed bar area which provided an enclosed room for us to keep our group. We had joined the Ketchikan ward (who also had kids from Metlakatla with them) and were a group of nearly 50. We had young men on one side of the room and young women on the other side. I went to sleep after midnight, woke once around 1:30 and again around 2:30. At that point, the people next to me decided to start a movie on a laptop computer. It was loud so I decided to go sleep on one of the lounge chairs upstairs. I slept there until about 5:30 at which point I was awake for the rest of the day. The remaining ferry ride was pleasant, though. We had gorgeous weather and it was smooth sailing. I enjoyed the time to get to know the kids. Sister Mattsen even held a dance for the kids which was a great warm up for the two stake dances they attended during the conference.

Finally we arrived at our destination. My housing assignment in Juneau was with my three girls and another girl from a different unit. President Ericksen told me I had a great housing assignment and that he was jealous. We were sent to Bishop Brent Tingey's home. Apparently they know each other professionally from earlier in their careers.

President Ericksen was correct - Bishop Tingey had a beautiful home and his wife Amber was very pleasant to spend time with. I enjoyed my interactions with both of them. They were kind enough to feed us dinner that first night, breakfast the next morning, snacks in between various activities and shuttle us back and forth to the different events. Before the conference started, they also helped transport us to the Mendenhall Glacier and Fred Meyer for more shopping.

The conference itself wasn't perfect, but the memory of the experiences quickly overshadows the imperfections and the focus becomes the powerful spirit that was felt throughout those few days. It was wonderful for the youth, and I think I was at least as spiritually fed as they were.

I left my group early - on Sunday morning - the fly back to Ketchikan in time to catch the Sunday evening ferry. I learned that I would be on the same flight as Sister Lana Youngberg who is the wife of the Stake President. I asked if she would be willing to give me a ride from the airport to the church. She said she would and, in fact, I ended up spending my entire day with her both between our arrival in Ketchikan until church began and then after church until I needed to catch the ferry.

In the morning she was busy preparing for teaching her Relief Society lesson and with practicing a song she was playing for a special musical number. As I sat in her home listening to her play, and pondering the things the spirit had been teaching me in the previous days I was overcome with a great sense of peace. It took me a few moments, but I began to recognize the familiarity of that feeling. It was as if I were in the chapel at the temple, waiting to attend an endowment session. Although I have heard the concept of making our homes likes temples, this was probably the most tangible experience I have ever had of really feeling that. I felt like the cleanliness of her home, combined with the righteousness of those who lived there, and the power of the music she was playing were all factors in such an atmosphere. It also reminded me of the cleanliness of Amber Tingey's home and I resolved to work to improve the order of my home and also of my body. These were thoughts that were on my mind during the conference but they seemed to be confirmed in that moment.

Church was wonderful with lots of friendly faces. Afterwards, Sister Youngberg invited me back to her home. She fed me a quesadilla for lunch and we chatted about a variety of things. I learned more about her background, different experiences and counsel about raising children, random thoughts about various family dynamics etc. At one point I found myself nearly in tears simply from the feeling of the spirit that was there. She is a good decade younger than my mom, but she felt like a motherly figure, teaching me and being an example of someone I could follow. Our time together was a perfect capstone to an already wonderful week. I enjoyed the time with the kids, I enjoyed the time with the Tingey's. I enjoyed the time with the Ketchikan ward, and I enjoyed the time with Sister Youngberg.

Soon it was time to get on the ferry and head home. The three hour ride was a bit more gray than I would have preferred, but it was calm and peaceful. And pretty soon I was back home with my family, whom I missed immensely while I was gone!

December Pictures 2014

Rock Paper Scissors to determine who get to open the tree.

We had to buy a new tree this year since the lights on our old one weren't working.

After several years of intending to, I finally got bells to go on our tree.

This is such a beautiful smile!

Ammon got a customized shirt for Battle of the Books.

We had an awesome fondu part to celebrate me getting home from my trip.

While I was gone, the boys (and Andrew) learned some things about archery.

Andy always helps with the laundry.

Laurie is not always in the basket, however.

Putting up lights.

I sang in the POWER Christmas concert community choir.

Seriously - this smile never gets old!

Christmas in plain sight.

We had to order all of our presents, but since we had just moved in,

we decided to just stack the boxes as if they were unpacked moving boxes.

It totally worked.

Funeral Trip South December 2014

Laurie and I went to Utah and then to California for Grandpa's funeral.

We took a 12 passenger prop plane from POW to Ketchikan,

Then we had a flight from Ketchikan to Seattle and another flight from Seattle to Salt Lake.

Awww. Laurie got to snuggle with Grandpa Joe.

I was so happy to get the chance to meet and hold baby Harlow!

My Dad wrote this for his ward newsletter after sharing it at a empty nesters FHE.

So cute to see Laurie and Noah together!

We had a super fun visit with Aunt Jen!

It was fun to chat, just like old times.

While some people went out looking at Christmas lights, 

Dad, David's family and I went out for dinner at Red Robbin.

We snuck in a birthday celebration at Tucanos during my trip.

My parents, Katy, Peggy and Derrick, Laurie and I all had lunch together.

My visit was so short - it was sad to say goodbye to the Hansen family!

Laurie decided to party it up in Vegas.

She pulled this stunt at 1:00 AM!

It was nice to spend time with a couple of my siblings.

Uncle Joey did a great job helping with Laurie while we travelled.

The graveside service for Grandpa Fred was in a beautifully decorated building.

While we were in CA, we had the chance to visit Grandpa Rosemann.

Laurie first met Santa Clause in Ramona, CA at a ward Christmas party.

Back in Ketchikan!

On the ferry home.