About Ammon

(This was written about Ammon on his 8th birthday.)

Happy Birthday to my sweet son!

Ammon has an adventurous spirit that he brought with him to this world.  Before we knew I was pregnant, it was made known to us that I was going to have a boy.  We knew he would be called Ammon and as a couple, Andy and I prayed for him by name every day from the time my pregnancy was confirmed.  I think he must have been excited to get to this world.  As a spirit, he visited my mom while she was on vacation in Colorado.   He made himself known to Andy's mom at the temple.  I know he was so very eager to come to earth.

He had a rough entry coming into the world.  On Thanksgiving I was assigned to go on bedrest.  He and I were both monitored closely from that point forward, but even still he was born via emergency C-section 16 days early.  I remember holding him in the hospital and watching him adjust to his body complete with hunger pains, gas etc and having the distinct impression that he was struggling with the experience.  Even as a new-born infant, this life was harder than he expected, and for all the enthusiasm he had to get here, it seemed as though he was caught off guard and extremely overwhelmed with the reality of mortality.  Once he caught his first breathe, he was never critical, but somehow I felt that he went through this process of struggle and made a choice, again, of whether he was going to give up due to life being so much harder than expected, or if he was going to face it head on and live life complete with the unexpected challenges that would come his way.   I felt like he made the decision to make the best of living in a world full of opposition - to face the difficulties with strength, and to enjoy the beauties with passion.

As he grew, it became quickly apparent that Ammon is a boy of tenderness.  He has a lot of love and is never malicious.  He is getting old enough to be a student of the gospel and is beginning to gain greater understandings of our Heavenly Father, of the Savior and of the Plan of Salvation.  In these past few months his kindness and level of obedience has increased.  I repeatedly see him making good choices simply because he has developed the discipline and moral compass to do so.  As parents, Andy and I have spent many recent nights talking about what a pleasure Ammon has been and how we are so impressed with his behavior.

This boy is so very very special and I feel so lucky to be his mom.

Happy Birthday, Ammon.   I love you more than anything!

Ammon's Birth Story Part 3

I've been hoping I could convince Andy to get on and write about what happened since I was so incoherent the night of Ammon's birth, but I honestly haven't even asked him yet to do it, so I'll just write what I know.

Andy was terrified.  I know that much.  He and I were about to enter into parenthood together, and all he knows was that I have been miserable and have had a lot of concerned health workers coming in and out of the room all evening while I was barely coherent.  Then he was told that it was serious enough that they had to take me in for an emergency C-Section and that I would have to be put under for the operation.  Add this to the fact that his greatest paranoia/fear in life is to have his wife die during child birth, and he was a complete basket case!  Fortunately, when he called my mom to tell her what was happening, she immediately braved the (literal) blizzard outside and headed towards the hospital to be with us.  He said that he knew she wouldn't be there in time for the surgery, but that just knowing she was on her way made him feel A LOT better.  I don't think he's ever forgotten how much he appreciated her support that night.

Andy says that Ammon took a while to cry for the first time and the doctor and nurses were really worried about him.  Over the years I have heard Andy describe the overwhelming helplessness he felt watching.  Suddenly he was torn as in one direction he saw me unconscious on the operating table with my guts literally on my stomach, while in the other direction he saw people gathering around Ammon waiting for him to breathe.  The relief when that first cry came was tangible to everyone in the room and I think that to this day, those moments of Ammon's birth are the single most terrifying experience of Andy's life. 

The morning after Ammon was born the on call doctor made his rounds.  I was sitting up in bed feeling great and just visiting with Andy and whoever else may have been there.  The doctor looked at my chart, looked at me in surprise and almost with a gasp said, "You're the one Doctor Froerer was so worried about!"

"I am?" I questioned.  At that point I was doing fine, and the discomforts and fears of the night before had already begun to fade into the past.  Again, at my six week check up, as I took for granted the birth of my first child, my doctor sat me down and said, "I don't think you realize the seriousness of what you went through."  And I didn't.  He tried to explain it to me, but the words never really sunk in.

It really wasn't until 2 1/2 years later when I got pregnant with Peter that Andy and I decided we should look into it.  What was that issue when Ammon was born?  HELLP Syndrome?  Maybe we should look it up and find out if we are at risk for that again...

At the time and from our search it looked like it was not something we needed to worry about with Peter.  (Which is actually different than the information I am seeing now.)  HELLP Syndrome stand for Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelet count.  There's a lot of technical terms but what I understand of my specific situation (and maybe I am wrong, but this is my understanding) was that my liver and spleen were starting to shut down and the reason I had to avoid the epidural was because they were concerned it would cause internal bleeding that they would not be able to control and could lead to death.  Wow!  No wonder I was feeling so terrible that night!  It wasn't what I expected labor to feel like because I never actually went into labor.  I was too busy DYING...  At the time we researched it, everything we read said that HELLP Syndrome requires IMMEDIATE delivery of the baby regardless of how far into the pregnancy the mother is.  We were so grateful to have been 37 weeks and have such great hope and ultimate outcome for our precious baby boy.  We were also so grateful to have been at the hospital when everything went south.  Since this experience, my mother-in-law actually knew someone who developed HELLP Syndrome during her pregnancy and although she and the baby ended up living, the mother spent several months in a coma.

Ammon's birth was an adventure, to be sure.  The more I understand about the things that happened that night, the more amazed I am that Andy had to go through that experience more or less alone.  I have always been so grateful for the wonderful medical treatment we received.  For years Andy talked about watching the doctor stitch me back up and knowing first hand what a really thorough job he did.  When Ammon was a few months old, Andy met a couple who had concerns about a second pregnancy because the doctor in their situation did not stitch her up well and that carelessness had led to severe complications.  I don't think Andy would ever trust another doctor besides the one we had.  For Peter's C-Section, I was awake.  There were two surgeons there and the other one actually commented on how perfectly stitched I had been.  He looked over to Dr. Froerer and asked, "Did you do this?"  My doctor acknowledged that he had and was again complimented on his work.  Andy was always amazed that he would come in at 3:00 in the morning, after Christmas, and take care of his patient rather than leaving me to the on-call doctor.  He did a great job and gave us a beautiful little boy who we have enjoyed an amazing eight years with!  I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life loving this amazing child of mine.

Read my tribute to my eight year old Ammon here.