Gratitude

Every day I am filled with an awed sense of gratitude for my husband.

I feel fortunate beyond measure.

He is my best friend.

He brings the romance into my life that I have always craved.

He helps with laundry, cooking, child-rearing and every home fix-it project he can find.

He works hard day in and day out.

He supports me in my schooling.

He watches out for my emotional well-being and steps in when I need a break.

He is a THE super-hero in my life.

Without hesitation he showers me with every good thing within his power to give.

I once had a friend comment that she had never been to my house

without having been a first-hand witness of my husband serving me - 

in one capacity or another.

And as I reflected on her comment, I realized she was right.

His ways of service are quiet.

He always brings me a drink, or checks on the kids, or gets me my socks when my feet are cold.

He lets me put my icy hands on his chest to warm them up.

He drives Ammon to school.

He lets me sleep in.

He makes breakfast for the boys EVERY day.

I know I am spoiled.

I often daily think I would be lost without him.

As each evening comes to an end we snuggle into bed together.

We laugh and talk and reminisce about our day.

And when I am adequately talked-out, I roll over onto my side - 

My "sleeping position" he knowingly teases.

I literally grin from ear to ear - because I know what's going to come next.

He rolls over behind me, wraps his arm around me, and then we both drift off to sleep.

It is the happiest moment of my day.

This sleeping pattern began for my benefit.

I am the one who has to be on my side to finally fall asleep.

And I am the one who wanted to be wrapped in his arms.

But he recently admitted that he can no longer fall asleep any other way.

Life can feel so perfect.

But many of you know that this perfection didn't always exist for us.

We have had a challenging past.

And there were days weeks months when I genuinely believed our marriage wouldn't last.

Those were hard, dark days.

And to make it more challenging, they came and went and then came again.

There were good days and bad days muddled and confused.

Until eventually all that seemed left was the bad.

I thought the end of our marriage had come with a finality.

I began to plan for a life without him - the single parent of two very young boys.

I looked into my future laid out in this way and felt keenly that the hardest years of my life were ahead.

I couldn't help but wonder -

If I know that these next few years will be hard,

and if I commit to fight and work and be drug through the mud of life,

would I prefer my prize to be a new future, divorced and ready for a better chance at love?

Or would I want my prize to come rewarded with the richness of all that was good in our past?

For me, the answer became increasingly evident.

In my situation it worked to stay true to my covenants.

"For better or worse."

We made it through storms that seemingly couldn't have been worse.

And having come from a place such as that,

I have never since spent a single day taking our love for granted.

I know how close that love came to being lost forever.

And constantly I am struck with the understanding of how fortunate I am.

***

A few weeks ago I was touched by the strength of people around me.

People who are fighting battles and facing severe struggles.

This week I became aware of many more difficulties born by those I know.

And it seems to never end.

Yesterday I looked into my Grandma's eyes -

weary with concern for her husband's health.

She is four decades further along on the path of life than I am.

Shouldn't life  be easier by then?

But in His love and infinite wisdom, Heavenly Father did not create a world of ease.

Rather, he provided a plan that offers strength and healing.

We would not believe the strength we are capable of, were it not tested through trials.

And we would never know the power of healing offered through the Savior,

were we not to experience it firsthand.

Though it may be a hard lesson that we continually learn as we journey through this existence, 

I know that the opportunity to develop this strength and gain this healing is a priceless gift.

These blessings come from God,

and as such,

they bring with them infinite peace and joy beyond measure.

***