Day 1 - What Was I Thinking?

I really thought I'd have this diet thing licked.  No big deal.  I had been using DoTerra's Slim and Sassy oil which I felt really did help reduce cravings and even feelings of hunger.  My dad talked about being always hungry on this diet, but he eats a lot more than I do and he wasn't using the slim and sassy.  And he had stuck with it, so it couldn't have been that bad.  I woke up excited to eat my first "food".  I had "chocolate chip pancakes".  They were N.A.S.T.Y!  Disgusting!!!!  They tasted like protein powder and it was hard to get them down.  That was the first time I started to wonder what I had gotten myself into.

But I was going to lose weight!!!  I could do it.

Three hours later, when it was time to eat again, I was hungry.  I pulled out a Lemon Meringue granola bar.  I had heard that most of the food was pretty terrible, but that the bars were what made this diet do-able.  I was excited to have branched out to a citrus sort of flavor.  I had to gag it down.  It was terrible.  By this time I was feeling pretty deflated.  And hungry!  My slim and sassy, which had been great for me in days prior, was no match for this diet.  I started to mourn the loss of all food and wondered if I would ever be able to have anything yummy ever again.

The way the diet works is that you eat five of the medifast meals and then you have one "lean and green".  For example, I am allotted six ounces of boneless skinless chicken breast and 3 cups of lettuce, so a salad is a great option.  I can have two tablespoons of dressing and a couple of other random extras during my day.  I started playing with the idea of ordering a salad from Wendy's.  I knew that my dad did a lot of restaurant salads for his lean and green and the diet was working for him.  When I looked it up, I was surprised that the salad would more than double my daily calories.  And it didn't exactly fit the diet requirements.  On the other hand, it would put my daily calorie total at 1230, so really, that was healthier.  On the other hand, if I was going to commit to medifast, then shouldn't I try it their way?

In the end, I felt that I "needed" something to get me through this first day.  I asked my grandma more about what my dad was doing for his lean and green meals, and she confirmed that he did a Wendy's salad all the time.  So I went ahead and had a nice lunch out with Grandpa.  I took the entire day of any school responsibilities and just gave myself that day to make the diet work.

I quickly realized that I was a social eater.  Every time Andrew would call home on a break, I would be triggered into wanting to make a food plan for when he got home.  At one point I even found myself daydreaming about him and me ordering a pizza to eat later that night after the kids were in bed.  (Something that we have rarely if ever done, so it was a weird thought.)

I had planned ahead and allowed the boys to have quick and easy microwaveable dinners for themselves.  They were super excited and thought it was a special treat, and I didn't have to cook for them.  That helped.

I drank tons of water, which means I was constantly in the bathroom.  Every time I went to the bathroom, I would step on the scale.  I wanted immediate results.  When I looked at the depressing number, it just reaffirmed how much I really needed this diet.

I went through some major feelings of loss, mourning the fact that I would NEVER be able to eat real food again.  I missed the idea of nachos.

By the end of the first day, my weight did seem to already be down a few ounces and it helped.  The day had been a lot harder than I expected it to be, but I had done it.  I was excited to keep going.  I had heard that my Aunt says the first three days are the hardest.  But my dad said it never got any better for him.  I decided to go with the three day theory and decided that if I could just get through the first three days, I'd be good.

I went to bed hungry, mourning the loss of food, and excited about the weight that I hoped would be falling off of me.