Middle Child and Missionary Work

Monday, March 24, 2014

Middle Child and Missionary Work

Peter spent a lot of years being the youngest child. But in his heart, he has always been a middle child. He was excited for his little sister to join our family but as we prepared for and then experienced the transition, his behavior worsened. He was constantly feeling ignored, left out, and ultimately, unloved. He came home daily with tales of being "bullied" at school. He constantly felt that we were picking on him. He felt victimized by his brother on a daily basis. And the kicker of it was, he was generally the antagonist in every situation.

When we asked him why he would hit his brother, be blatantly disobedient to Dad, or be deliberately disrespectful to Mom he would always give some explanation about how he had a bad day. Somehow, because his day was rough, he decided that everyone's day should be rough.

And so we decided that he needed to learn that he was not the victim of his life and that he had a choice. We decided that when he was in trouble, he would get to write out a new scripture.

2 Nephi 2:27

"Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself."

The scripture actually seemed to have a positive impact on him and his behavior began to improve. We were still far from perfect, however, and one afternoon he acted up while we were visiting our neighbor Barbara. I asked him to run downstairs to get his Book of Mormon so that he could show Barbara what it was that we were learning.

She was quite interested in the verse as he read it and asked to see the book to read it herself. She asked a question or two to make sure she was understanding the meaning of the verse correctly, and then nodded in agreement.

As we left that day, she stopped us on the stairs and asked, "Do you think it would be possible for me to get a copy of that book?"

I immediately replied, "Absolutely! The missionaries will bring one to you!"

Two days later, Andrew, Barbara, the missionaries and I were sitting in her home teaching her about Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

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Family Proclamation

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshiped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize his or her divine destiny as an heir of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan.Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. "Children are an heritage of the Lord" (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.