Like a Butterfly

Lately I have been feeling spiritually empty.

Starved, even.

Physically, I have been eating better.

I have gotten to the point where when I am hungry
I don't just need food.
I actually long for and crave proper nutrition.
(I've been eating more fruits and vegetables than I ever have in my life.)

On a spiritual level I started feeling that same longing.

After three weeks of not being able to attend church for various reasons

(sick children, stake conference, sick child)

I finally was able to go back on Sunday.

It felt good, but it wasn't enough.

I usually get such a boost from attending church.

But I still needed more.

On Thursday I was able to attend the temple.

It was wonderful!

Andrew has Thursdays off now which is so nice.

Ever since we learned of his new schedule we wanted to use Thursday afternoon for a temple date.

Things were just too crazy the first week while we were adjusting to all the schedule changes.

The second week didn't work because the boys had a short day in school.

But finally we were able to go this week.

To make it even better, my grandparents were able to come.

My Grandpa LOVES the temple but has felt like he was unable to go for some time.

We finally convinced him that he would have all the help he needed and that things would go well.

He was beaming the whole time!

I LOVED it.

As I was sitting in the temple, I thought back to this video I had watched earlier in the week:

Ever since I first heard this talk by President Uchtdorf, I have found it to be a curious analogy.

I feel so bad for the man in the story.

I see him taking responsibility, making sacrifices and working hard.

Those are such admirable traits!

It breaks my heart to see such an admirable person miss out on so much.

It is interesting to consider what I might be missing out on - 

despite my best intentions and desires to do things right.

As I sat in the temple on Thursday I thought about how much I miss out on by not being there more often.

It really is a place that brings me peace and joy.

I also experience comfort, rest and guidance there.

I am excited to have a plan for more frequent attendance.

This morning I still felt like I needed more.

I went to lds.org to see what spiritual strength I could soak up.

I stumbled upon this butterfly talk.

I wanted to share it with someone I love, so I made this picture for her.

There has been nothing in my life more powerful than when I finally let go of who I wanted to be

and I began to focus on being who the Lord would have me become.

There is joy in this approach.

It is an ongoing process.

I am grateful for the reminder.

I feel blessed that when I feel empty, I have so many tools at my disposable to rejuvenate me.

I spent some time searching through the youth curriculum for the church.

It looks so amazing!

There are so many study tools to help me feast on God's word.

I know I need to dig more heavily into the scriptures.

I don't live up to that privilege nearly as much as I should.

But I'm going to try to be a butterfly;

I'm going to work on it one correct choice at a time.